Posts tagged with 'Elder Care'

Celebrating A Loved Ones Life

  • Posted on July 19, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Lloyd celebrating his 86th birthday at The Cedars Floating restaurant in Coeur d'Alene, ID, September of 2008.

By Phil Anderson

This column started out, and has continued to be, about general wine thoughts.  After all, that is why I named this blog the way I did.  But this post will be a little more subdued.  Shelley and I have been together, off and on, for awhile now and I’ve had the privilege to get to know her family during that time, but nobody more than her father, Lloyd. 

He lived with Shelley for over four years and was instrumental, in various ways, in her leaving her nursing job at the hospital and starting an online support website for those taking care of their aging loved ones or parents.  She has rapidly become one of the foremost experts in the field of caregiving for seniors.  Her goal when her Dad came to live with her was to keep him OUT of an assisted living facility and now that goal has turned into a passion to help others that are in the position SHE was in to do the same if that is what they desire.

Last September he passed away at the age of 88.  Because he wanted his remains to be scattered over Christopher Lake, which is about a half hour North of Prince Albert in Saskatchewan, Canada, we had to wait until just recently because the lake had already froze last year.  The logistics of getting a boat out on a lake to spread ashes when the lake is actually ice was too much to manage.

For four years I played three hand Cribbage with Shelley and her father, Lloyd, nearly every night while sipping wine.  We had to dilute his wine about a third with water because he refused to quench his thirst with water so he usually finished his wine rather quickly (we learned this the hard way).  His famous saying was, “Water is to wash with not to drink!” 

Shelley and her father, Lloyd, bidding winter goodbye in April of 2009.

Lloyd had a knack for picking out the subtle nuances of a wines characteristics that amazed Shelley and I, even though he might have trouble remembering names of close family members or even what we did an hour before.  He DID enjoy his wine.

He also enjoyed Marilyn Monroe.  Certainly that is no surprise; many men of his generation had a special fondness for her.  He would have calenders, wall hangings and other things with the image of Marilyn Monroe.  He combined his love for wine and his “crush” for Marilyn Monroe by drinking, when the opportunity presented itself, a Napa Valley wine called, Marilyn Merlot.

Marilyn Merlot is produced and bottled by Nova Wines of Oakville, California.  What started out as just some fun with a group of friends in 1981 spiraled into a cult wine.  According to their website Marilyn Wines traces its origins to 1981, when a small group of friends started making wine at their home near St. Helena, in Napa Valley. One evening in 1983, over dinner and a bottle of homemade Merlot, the concept of “Marilyn Merlot” was born. The wine enjoyed a good deal of popularity around the valley and was often donated to charity auctions and given as Christmas gifts.  To learn more about the journey of Marilyn Wines just click here.

I had found, and purchased, a bottle of the 2003 Marilyn Merlot for Lloyd about five years ago.  Often I would ask Shelley if “this” night would be a good night to open that bottle with her Dad but the occasion never seemed to be right.  This is EXACTLY what Open That Bottle Night is all about, isn’t it! 

Well, his health continued to deteriorate and it seemed apparent that he would not be enjoying this bottle of Merlot with us.  After his death, the bottle sat motionless in the pantry.  When a date surfaced on when we would be making the trek up into Canada to honour (that’s the way Canadians spell honor) Lloyds life I suggested we bring the bottle of Marilyn Merlot up with us and enjoy it as we spread his ashes onto Christopher Lake.  Shelley agreed and that’s what we did yesterday morning.

Shelley and her family prepare to scatter Lloyds ashes into Christopher Lake just after toasting his life with a 2003 Marilyn Merlot.

The weather certainly wasn’t conducive for this event, nor did it cooperate!  Windy and frigid was the lake air as the pontoon boat waited for the arrival of our group.  There would be a total of 13 family members.  We had glasses for everybody.  As the Last Post played from my iPod through the boats’ stereo system we poured about 2 ounces of the 2003 Marilyn Merlot into each glass, passing them around.  Shelley’s son, Tyler, was chosen to gently pour Lloyds remains from a ceramic vase into the chilly waters of Christopher Lake, where Lloyd had spent so many summers of his life playing.

As Shelley put it, “It was the best event of the weekend.”  Although each function honored Lloyd well, the barbeque the day before at Jill and Gerald’s house and the actual memorial service following the boat ride on Sunday, this really was a special moment, for a special person, with a special wine.

It had been a long weekend, full of sadness yet fond memories.  Family members that hadn’t seen each other for many, many years were reunited because of Lloyd.  Two full days of emotions.  As we made our way into the hotel room last night, after it was all over, I looked over to Shelley, showing her what was left of the bottle of the 2003 Marilyn Merlot, and said, “Care to finish the rest of this with me?”  The answer was, of course, “Of course.”

I pried the cork (with a replica of Marilyn’s lips on two sides of the cork) out of the bottle and poured a decent glass for each of us.  We swirled and smelled and sipped.  Shelley noticed the beginnings of brown showing up on the edge of the wine as it started showing its age. 

The wine had some alcohol in the nose but it smelled and tasted delicious with hints of prunes, raisins and soft dark cherries.  It had structure and a lingering finish.  But, honestly, it could have tasted horrific and we both would have loved it anyway.  Thankfully, it was the perfect way to peacefully close the book on Lloyd, her father.

As I was doing research on this wine I found out what it sells for now.  I paid about $35 US dollars for the bottle in 2005 and now you can purchase it for a mere 100 bucks at Marilyn Wines.  To me, Shelley and her family, it was worth MUCH more than that.

Thank you for the years Lloyd, although too few, and may you Rest In Peace.

Remember, you can join the many people who like drinking wine by joining the drinking wine fan page on Facebook!  We’d love to have you…

As always, thank you for reading, and remember, bottoms up and enjoy each swallow to the fullest.  You never know when it will be your last glass.

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